The Grouch gets sick

I guess it had to happen. I pretty much made it through the flu season unscathed. I woke up this past Saturday feeling tired but I was excited about Father's Day weekend so I shook it off. Saturday night I was even more tired. Sunday a.m. I was really dragging. We went to dinner and I was feeling a bit funny in the tummy but my credo has always been 'it will either cure you or kill you' so I ate big and enjoyed every minute of it. We came home and I washed the Jeep but honestly didn't think I was going to finish it. About 7 or so I couldn't go on and collapsed in bed for a rest. The complicating factor was that I had a trip to the east coast the next day for the entire week to break in a new manager. I set my alarm for 4:20 a.m. figuring that would give me enough time to get up and pack and hit the road at 5 for the airport. (Cue the ominous music...if he only knew what was in store for him..that very hour!) I fell asleep and then it started. The dreaded stomach flu. But this also came with some friends called fever and chills and head pounding pain and body pain and delirium. Not to offend sensibilities of my readers who are prone to the vapors but the throwing up was the worst in my life, not that I keep records from one bout to the next or anything. The delirium was the most curious part of the whole miserable experience. I had endless dreams involving scenarios worthy of a Twilight Zone episode that had me talking in my sleep. Besides carrying on one side of a conversation I also spoke people's names and even mentioned Roscoe once. This of course in between dashes to the bathroom. Part of the night was spent laying on the floor outside the said room while I decided if I was going to actually die that night and be found there or if this was just another test of the Grouch's mettle. "You can bend but not break me..." I got to examine the underside of the vanity while laying there and I have to agree with Mary that it does need replaced. At 4:20 a.m. the alarm went off but this race horse wasn't leaving the starting gate. Instead I lay there carrying on my conversations with the mysterious people in my dreams. Did I mention that answering them would wake me up? That was a relief at least, the dreams were very tedious. If I had to work as hard as I was in the dreams I might as well be awake and at work. Some time during the night I had asked Mary to call the travel agency emergency number and cancel the flight and hotel and also leave a message at my operation in Delaware telling them I wasn't coming.
Since these things usually start in the evening and end in the morning I thought I would be done Monday morning but alas this was not the case. So around 11 a.m. Mary drove me to the walk in clinic to see what they could do. I wondered riding over to the clinic what would have been my fate 100 years ago or more when medical science wasn't able to treat all of our usual illnesses. Mary wondered what would have happened to a soldier about to hit the beach at Normandy who came down with this. I figured in both cases death was a possible outcome. After about a two hour wait we were seen by a PA who just so happens to be one of Mary's fellow thespians from the local playhouse. He was appropriately sympathetic, gave me the magic shot to stop the vomiting (sorry but I had to write that), gave me an EKG for good measure and drew blood to boot. Dang, I forgot to call them today to see if anything was interesting in my blood. The high point of Mary's day was when the lab tech called her Miss, not once but twice.

So thus was the saga of the sick Grouch. I was too sick to be Grouchy but now that I have eaten a chocolate chip cookie and had a diet Pepsi I am feeling better and ready to be a Grouch again!