The rewards of being nice

The other day Mary discovered a small pond under the kitchen sink. This was a surprise as we had not installed the pond feature under there in our recent memory. Granted we are getting old but we would remember a water feature in the kitchen. After draining the pond Mary said hopefully that perhaps the water had been spilled from something placed in the recycling bag under the sink. I was skeptical and a bit of sleuthing on my part revealed the source of the pond: the garbage disposal was leaking. By the way, in the interest of tracking regional colloquialisms like 'pop', 'sweeper' (i.e. vacuum), 'couch' , etc., raise your hand if you call the mechanical device that accepts your discarded food products and masticates them into tiny little bits of stuff to be washed down the drain a garbage disposal. If you call it anything else we don't want to hear from you. Back to the story. The disposal wasn't just leaking, it was raining water. I checked our file of warranties and receipts and what do you know but we actually kept everything for this contraption! Unfortunately the warranty expired 11 months ago. Not to be deterred, I called the 800 number to see if the thing was fixable by home fumble-fingers like me.
Day 1: Me: "Hello, my Badger 5 plus is leaking. I would like to know if it is repairable."
Them: (in a Philippine accent) "Sir we must know the model first."
Me: It says it is a Badger 5 plus."
Them: "Oh sir, that is not a model. You must get the model and serial number from the sticker on the machine."
Me: "ok."
That night I tried to read the sticker on the bottom of the infernal machine. My age and eyes betrayed me. I couldn't get the correct distance to read the tiny print. Mary's turn. She couldn't either. The call went out to Craig and his young eyes. He read the numbers off to me.
Day 2: Me: "Hello, I am calling back with the model number and serial number as you directed (followed by the information)."
Them (in a Philippine accent - by this time I determined I wasn't calling anywhere in the U.S. of A): "Oh sir, those aren't the model number and serial number. You must look for another sticker."
Me (wanting to switch into my Incredible Hulk mode but keeping the safety release valve firmly lashed down): "Hey, no problem. I will go back under the sink and try again."
Back at home that night. No sticker visible on the hull of the grinder. No room to get behind it to look. Kurt provide an anecdote from Iraq where he used his cell phone camera to locate a serial number on a piece of equipment that was in a tight spot. I try the same with the digital camera. Eureka! I have the model number and serial number.
Day 3: Me: "Hello, I am calling back with the correct model number and serial number as you directed me to do." It is......
Them: "Oh sir, that model is discontinued. It cannot be repaired. It is best if you throw it away. Is there anything else I can do for you?"
Me: (I spent three days to get to this point?)" This model had a three year warranty. I know it is out by 11 months but (turning on the best friendly but sad and let down voice) I am really sad and let down that the machine did not last very long. You have been so very helpful to me today. Can you help me once more and give me a goodwill adjustment?" (Hold my breath)
Them: (long pause - in a Philippine accent - probably thinking This yankee was persistent enough to call us three days running. We had him get under the sink twice and we still couldn't get rid of him...hmmm) "Oh sir, just for you we will help you out. We will send you a replacement insinkerator (cute name!) for a nominal price. Will this help you?"
Me: (fist pumping in the air yes!!) "That will be satisfactory. Thank you for your kind assistance."

Lesson to all: Persistence pays off and being reasonable but disappointed and let down helps even more! Never give in, never surrender! Oh sorry, that was from Galaxy Quest. I meant to say: Be persistent but don't be a jerk. Even a grouch knows that.