The Invisible Man or The Injured Bunny

So, for a bit today I thought I had become the Invisible Man; not like the book by Ralph Ellison, that staple of high school English classes, but more like the movie with Claude Rains but without the bandages. You see (or maybe you wouldn't have) for a period of time this morning I thought I had accidentally drunk an invisibility potion instead of my breakfast juice or maybe I had unwittingly donned some invisibility shorts rather than my usual beat up Eddie Bauer hiking togs. Evidence seemed to be that I was invisible to numerous drivers on my morning commute as they hurled their vehicles directly in front of me or even at me. But, then I realized that no invisibility potion exists. Were these drivers incompetent, homicidal, or just plain stupid? Being the non judgemental person that I have evolved into I decided that something else was at play. That something had to be The Injured Bunny.

5:50 a.m I depart my home on my bike. Flashing LED lights fore and aft on the bike. Goofy neon green reflective vest draped over my body. Humming an Abba song to myself I set off for work.

5:51 a.m. Joe Smith is drinking his morning coffee when he sees a horrible sight: his pet baby bunny 'Bun-Bun' has managed to get his tiny paw caught in the Nordstrom automatic cheese grater and the result is not pleasant. Grabbing Bun-Bun Joe dashes to his Ford Expedition and peels out of his driveway at high speed headed for the 24 hour vet office.

5:52 a.m. "Waterloo - I was defeated you won the war" I hum to myself.

5:55 a.m. Joe rockets down Frisca drive and yanks the wheel to the right, cornering on two wheels. The startled face of a bicyclist who is wearing a highly visible neon green vest with flashing lights fore and aft on the bike is illuminated in the headlights as he swings onto Las Mananitas and accelerates to at least 40 MPH before executing a hard left around the next corner. "Got to save Bun-Bun!" he thinks.

5:56 a.m. "That was a close one! Now then where was I...'Waterloo - promise to love you forever more...'

6:00 a.m. I'm riding along in front of Burger King. A trash truck lurks in the parking lot. I see its dark menacing bulk. It starts to move on a collision course with me. Surely the driver sees me...he doesn't see me! I lock up the brakes and skid sideways. The truck drives on without a pause..

"Oh no, my friend Joe has twittered that Bun-Bun is injured! Driving a trash truck and texting is pretty difficult...did I just see a bike?"

6:50 a.m. Burbank Train station. I unload from the train and mount up the bike. I head out of the parking lot. What's this? A city of Burbank work truck is in front of me going slower and slower. He's actually stopping in the intersection! He's answering his cell phone and just sitting there! What the..?

"Mack, it's Joe calling! Bun-Bun's hurt, he's hurt bad! I don't know if he's going to pull through. Mack, you've got to call Jose and tell him. And Call Sue too!" The Burbank city worker can't move with the awful news. He realizes that he is sitting in the intersection in his truck with a cyclist behind him who is wearing a goofy reflective green vest. Doesn't the dope know this call is important?!

6:55 a.m. Pedaling down Flower Street. I spy a large truck pulling slowly out of a side street. the driver doesn't see me. He's talking on a cell phone. He'll see me, he sees me...he doesn't see me! I swerve out of the way. The driver continues to talk on the phone.

"Jose, it's Mack! Joe's Bun-Bun is dying! The cheese grater got him!" "Ay caramba!" exclaims Jose, noticing a cyclist out of the corner of his eye. Oh well he didn't get hit.

7:05 a.m. Shaken from three near collisions and a truck blocking an intersection I am thinking 'what next?' when it happens. From yet another side street a Toyota van launches at high speed directly at me. I brake abruptly and the Toyota turns in front of me, a middle aged woman looking grimly ahead, not a glance in my direction.

"Bun-Bun mangled by a cheese grater!" thinks Sue as she heads out to the freeway and eventually the animal hospital in Valencia. "Good thing Joe called me before I left for work. What was that neon green thing I saw as I was pulling out?"

Four near collisions in the space of about an hour. Since I am not a judgemental person I know it couldn't be because the drivers were incompetent, homicidal, or just plain stupid...so it must have been because of Bun-Bun the injured baby bunny. Or not.